I am a Junkie

Information. Distraction. Innovation. Hesitation.
I haven’t had the output I would like this week. From what I can remember, I don’t think last week was any better. Nothing productive other than exercise, eating, and email (also, as always, alliteration) has been accomplished before noon. I’m busy, but not so busy I can’t handle my business.
Yesterday should have been an afternoon dedicated to banging out a script after a call with Hill and setting up a few other things. But the afternoon came and… went, just as quickly. Not sure what happened. Even after dinner, rather than trying to work it was television and then messing around with various blogging/formatting stuff. I have a blog that works fine, but I’m always searching for the next/better/improved/scandalous thing that will somehow make me both a better writer and bring in more fans. Or something. I don’t even know.
And today, I’m typing this sentence at 1:07 pm and I haven’t written a lick. I can focus on the fact that I wrote a short pitch and sent it off to Hill on Wednesday and feel like I’ve gotten some iota of work done. But knowing I haven’t written a single sentence on the script I should have been working on for Monday makes that null and void.
I planned out today. I literally broke up almost everything I wanted to do today into blocks in iCal, leaving a few gaps for inevitable slips. It hasn’t helped. Nothing except for the basics (eat, exercise, email) has been touched.
I can’t stop procrastinating. My sleep has been bad. Some nights it’s because I go to bed with something playing on the laptop. Other times I go to bed in silence and it’s just as bed. NB2 suggested I start meditating. Two nights ago I thought I was listening to an beginner’s meditation audio track, but I was right and wrong about it. It was an Intro to Meditation thing, not an audio track to help guide me. Last night I listened to a different track that was actually what I was looking for… and fell asleep on it as well. At 9:11 (coincidence?) I woke up, groggy and frustrated after hitting the snooze umpteen times on two different alarms.
I’ll do some writing today, that much I’m sure of. But I need to figure out how to stop this information overload. I need to stop being a junkie for all of these things and write more. I still hit deadlines, so that’s not what I’m worried about. But I am worried about this being a familiar pattern. Fialkov figured out how to maximize his days, but I haven’t figured out my process. My brain isn’t constantly working over story problems when I do other stuff. My brain is like an accordion file, and when I’m looking in one tab, nothing is being accessed in any other. Unless I’m brushing my teeth, which is when all my thinking gets done.
Wondering why I’m blogging instead of putting the Internet on lockdown and opening up Final Draft or Pages? Yes, this too is procrastination. Figured you deserved an update just as much as I needed to put words on a blank white space. That’s progress. Sort of.
Edited: The always helpful Positivity Blog is going to be my inspiration today – How to Stop Procrastinating: 7 Timeless Tips

One thought on “I am a Junkie

  1. I'd go into detail on just how much I identify, but it would only feed my own procrastination. =PNice article link! A blog about positivity can never be a bad thing.

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